Ton, will you get that?
- Hello. - Tony, it's me.
Don't hang up.
Why are you calling here? You know who could answer this phone?
Please. You're so conceited. Do you think I want to call you?
I think you're drinking and dialing. I can smell the Stoli from here.
Yell to your sister, not to me. My poor cousin...
...has not had her prosthetic leg.
- What do you want me to do? - Tony, please.
I miss you so much. Can't you come over here?
Don't you ever call here again.
- Didn't you see my favorite patient? - Tomorrow.
- How's that going? - Let's not, Richard.
- I wish you hadn't taken him back. - I took you back.
I see the synergy.
Treat him, we start seeing each other.
- Richard, Richard. - No, seriously.
If you want to know, he had a breakthrough last week.
- What? Through somebody's jaw? - You're right, I'm wasting my time.
Better I boycott with the Italian American Foundation...
...and save the world from what is it this week? Gangster?
The very idea ABC would even think of producing that stereotypical goombah fest.
Richard, we are an advertisement for the American experiment. We did great.
I'm fed up with people assuming I'm a thug because my name ends in a vowel.
Undershirts, yelling. Hollywood gives these sociopaths...
...the tragic grandeur of Al Pacino.
He's an expert at this. The guy's conning you.
Condescend to me, Richard. It gets me so hot.
Tell me about this breakthrough. You said he's alexithymic.
Nothing will get through.
Not if it threatens that straw house he's built
inside his head to shelter his criminality.
It concerns me you don't see this. Pink-slip this guy. He's dangerous.
I'll pink-slip you if you don't get the chicken in the oven.
Is that new?
- Looks good. - Did you bring your log?
- My log? - Remember? You were to keep a record.
I asked you to write down any feelings...
...of anxiety or memories of past anxiety attacks.
My parents and the pork store. I know.
That was... it was interesting.
Have you thought at all about that?
- How do people find the time? - To get well?
Look, my mother's dead. I haven't had a panic attack since.
You've gone months without them before. The conflicts that cause them...
...and your depression are buried deep inside you.
- Are you happy? - Am I happy?
That's not even...
Look, I'm sorry I didn't bring the list.
I'll bring it next week.
Will you ever think about bringing your wife into this?
In here? Carmela?
You're the one who wanted to take a more proactive approach.
That's not in the future.
Let's talk frankly. You demanded more of me. Fine.
- But you're not trying. - I know.
The past.
But shit happens in my daily life that needs attention now.
I got some genuine concerns, you know.
About my son. He shies away from anything that requires effort...
...and I think he picks that up from me.
He's in football now. Carmela's as guilty about this as I am.
Richard was right.
I've been charmed by a sociopath. Why didn't I listen?
Why do you think?
Why did I reject a good man like Richard in the first place?
If you think about my life, it's so textbook.
Marry a man 10 years my senior.
Of course Richard's gonna be protective and patriarchal.
Then I reject him for being just that.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to be safe.
I know Richard's right. I should get Tony Soprano...
Shit.
I always thought it was that other guy. Little Augie Aprile.
- I can't believe I revealed his name. - Why did you?
Does Richard know who he is?
I think he saw it in my Day-Timer. That's why he's been so adamant.
Because Soprano is very high up.
If he was some button man you wouldn't treat him?
Please, with the terminology.
You know psychotherapy is limited in the treatment of anxiety disorder.
You've medicated Soprano and helped him gain what insight he's able to absorb.
It's time to send him on to a behaviorist.
Janice!
Janice.
I was cleaning up.
When did you change the locks?
The minute that Ukrainian dye-job was out the door.
Don't mess with the Russians, Janice.
She can have her leg when she returns Ma's record collection.
- You would've done the same thing. - I'm getting calls from her cousin.
Miss Carburetor Works of 1987?
Don't fuck with me on this. Give back the leg.
Tony, those records are yours too. It's sad that you don't care.
Those old albums... They're a window into Ma's soul.
In fact, I'm making a documentary.
World War II generation's music, exemplified by Ma.
Who are you kidding? You're gonna sell them on the Internet!
Good luck finding gold. You'd make more money working a real job.
Like the minute I'm out you won't have
contractors tearing apart the walls.
Oh, Janice.
EH-EH-EH.
You finished? I wanna meet my bud at the gym, we're gonna spar.
You got a girlfriend?
You know who's turning into a little mink, though? Meadow Soprano.
Look at him perk up.
- I've known her since we were kids. - Speaking of the royal family...
I heard you did a stickup with Chris.
I wanted to fly to South Beach. Mom wouldn't pay.
Don't worry. I'm won't tell her.
Look, kid...
I'm trying real hard here.
I know it's tough on you.
- I'm the guy that's dating your mom. - Dating?
Don't get fucking filthy about it.
Anyway this...
This was a good idea she had, us going out to dinner.
Not that one conversation ever solved anybody's problems.
I'm only here so I don't have to hear her bitching and crying.
The gym, huh?
Mind if I make a stop first?
My brother is out. He said you knew.
I get the bad-tempered one.
Bashir said that this payment could be late...
...because we had truck problems.
Three of them needed new hydraulics.
- Nobody talked to me. - He said you approved.
You're collecting on my routes. You gotta pay me.
They're only your routes because you say they are.
You wanna question New Jersey business practice that goes back 70 years?
Hey!
What is this, Ralphie?
I ought to stick a shish kebab up your ass.
Why do you provoke me?
This young buck.
He'll fuck your wife until she moans.
- You fucking wop. You began it. - What did you call me?
- Bringing my wife in this! - Put it down!
- Mister, come on! - Hey!
OW!
- Get the fucking bat! - Let go!
- You all right? - Asshole!
School this prick. In the breadbasket!
Good, kid. Introduce him to his desk.
Take an anger management course.
Fucking racial slurs.
Why you doing this to me?
That's what you get for using a baseball bat.
Let's go, kid.
- Yeah? - Ginny. It's Tony Soprano.
What's wrong with me? I'm a mess here
with the moving. I'll get John.
Look who's here.
- The guinea welcome wagon. - This is for you.
Carmela's bringing something nice to the housewarming for Ginny.
This is the Great Room. I don't see what's so great.
It's mediocre. We got a living room right over there.
I didn't know you were moving.
Ginny wanted to be near her sisters, you know, and the schools out here.
We were with Carmine. You never mentioned this place.
It's not his favorite subject.
It's what, half an hour, 40 minutes over the bridge?
Why didn't you say you were moving?
- Why? - I gotta find out second hand?
You care? You working in a tollbooth?
Besides, I already got the condo in Point Pleasant.
- You should have told me. - I'm telling you now.
This is a place to live. I got no intention of sticking my beak in.
I mean, there's our family and then there's the Soprano family.
Don't I get to see the rest of this?
You can help me unstick this rain bird.
I'm a stranger in a strange land out here.
Look at this pair.
How many Neapolitans to screw in a light bulb?
There's only candles in Naples. The cardinal controls that racket.
That's a good one.
Use it on your paesans.
We don't have those bulb jokes. They don't translate.
Tony, I go get a cappuccino.
Two thousand of that is mine.
Sand monkey on 17 is holding out on us.
- So you put his brother in an ambulance? - He said a bad word.
Why would you take Jackie's kid on something like that?
He's got to know how it works. Kid's got a chip on his shoulder.
23 and still living at home?
So he can keep an eye on the prick that's banging his mom.
No matter how nice I am, he still hates me.
I got a daughter that age. It's all a mystery.
Amen.
Being a parent, that's the hardest job.
It's harder than this other shit.
- Like my first marriage and my kid... - I got news you're not gonna like.
- I'm putting our friend in as captain. - What?
No.
- Fucking Gigi, are you shitting me? - I'm sorry.
This shit with the Arab? I went too far. I'll take care of it.
This isn't the first.
At least tell the truth. You want your
own there to spy on the Aprile crew.
Yeah. But I shouldn't have to.
You got bad tendencies. I sympathize because I do too.
You partnering with Joe Brooklyn on shit at the port.
A bum decision.
The bottom line speaks. I'm earning my ass off for you.
It's my decision.
Jesus Christ, Ton. I eat dinner at your house.
This is business.
See? Turned it off.
I've been thinking about your course of therapy.
You're the doctor.
You're ready to move on to behavior modification therapy.
What's that mean? Talk to somebody else?
Is this because of what happened last time?
Look, I'm sorry. But like you said, it's hard to think about that stuff.
- It took how long to even remember? - I realize that.
You know, you're unbelievable. I ask you to get serious in here.
When it gets hard, you pawn me off on somebody else.
I'm just introducing the idea. Something for you to think about.
I'm going to bring in things for you about behavior modification therapy.
Yes, he was here earlier today.
Yes, we talked about behavior mod, but...
Maybe you could.
Listen, I told you I would discharge him...
...and I will, in my own good time.
I'm going into the garage. I'm gonna lose you. See you later.
She's almost done. We just need a few more swabs.
- For God's sake, Jen. - Richard.
You're gonna be all right.
I thought that I broke my leg...
...but it's just really badly sprained.
Jesus. Oh, God.
Bastard.
- Did they tell you they caught him? - Thank God.
We nabbed somebody with the description not far from the scene.
He's denying it, but he had her Palm Pilot.
Says he found it.
This is Detective Piersol. She's been great.
- There's no way to describe this. - Of course.
- The son of a bitch. Who is he? - Jesus Rossi.
- Rossi? - Lives in Elizabeth. 28, no priors.
- That's an Italian name. - Am I missing something?
The girl said he was a Puerto Rican, that's all.
- I just wanna take a shower, okay? - We'll be done here soon.
All right.
Mom!
- Jason. - Jesus, Mom.
What did these lousy fuckers do?
I'll be all right.
I'm gonna kill these fuckers.
- Jason. - Fuck it, Dad!
You know the world is a sewer! Nothing but a sewer!
It's animals out there running wild! They're winning!
The police caught the man that did it.
I want five minutes with that asshole!
_
She doesn't need to hear it.
Why don't you go outside and settle down? I'll be right out.
Go ahead.
- Hello? - May I speak to Anthony Soprano?
He's not available now. Who's calling?
This is Jennifer Melfi. Is this Mrs. Soprano?
Yes, it is. How are you?
That's why I'm calling, to cancel his appointment.
He'll be disappointed. Nothing serious, I hope.
A car accident, but I'm fine.
I hope they had insurance. You weren't hurt, I hope?
My knee got the worst of it. But I'll be up and about in a couple of days.
I'll tell him. You stay off of it.
Who ate the cake?
Thank you, I will.
Thank you for giving him the message.
That's gotta be some marriage.
Hello, Kate? This is Jennifer Melfi.
I know talking on the phone upsets you, but I need to cancel our appointment.
- Tell him what? - That was your therapist.
Why don't you just announce it on WFAN? Go find some dust!
She was in a car accident. She has to cancel.
- She all right? - She was okay. She hurt her knee.
Her knee? Really? What happened?
I don't know. She didn't say.
I hope she don't need stitches. Stitches on the knee never heal right.
Can leave a very bad scar.
Any knee injury can be very serious.
You can get arthritis for the rest of your life.
- Ask Joe Namath. - No, thanks.
Listen, last time...
...she mentioned that maybe you would come into my therapy.
Give your perspective on the panic attacks and kind of...
...our home life. Whatever.
Sure.
But not now. She's sick.
Hello. Hi, Detective Piersol?
I'm on hold.
She is? Then maybe you can help me. This is Dr. La Penna.
I'm calling for Jennifer Melfi.
The rape. Right, Detective Piersol was gonna call...
...when you were ready for us to come down.
What? Why not?
What's going on?
- Why? That's ridiculous. - What happened?
It isn't Piersol. She's moved.
She never said anything.
You just let him go? Are you fucking crazy?
Yes, I do need to use this kind of language!
- I don't care if you're sorry. - Richard.
Fine, you do that.
You haven't heard the end of this. I'm contacting my attorney. Asshole!
- What? - Chain of custody was mishandled...
- ...so they let him go. - They let him go?
Somebody misplaced the evidence kit or something...
I don't know what they did, those idiots!
Is he just out until the trial? I can identify him.
It's a legal thing. I think they just have to let him skip.
That's impossible. You misunderstood.
Give me the phone.
- I told you what he told me. - Before or after you cursed at him?
- Give me the phone. I'll call them. - All right. I'll call.
Detective Lindheim, please. Yes, I'll hold.
Now it's not even the same cop.
Hello. Dick La Penna again. I want to apologize for losing my temper.
Could I please have the phone?
Just a second.
Hello? I'm sorry, I don't understand what's going on.
I don't know what you people did, but I can identify him.
I don't know what to say. I'm stunned.
They had to let him go...
...because they fouled up the chain of custody.
What am I gonna do?
You're gonna have someone escort you to your car.
- What's that supposed to mean? - That's what the counselor told me.
Deserted garages are where attacks happen.
You think this is my fault. Do you blame me for what happened?
I told you to call security
when it's late.
It wasn't late.
- This isn't doing any good. - Let me tell you something.
If I hadn't have been on the phone with you...
...maybe I would've seen that guy in the stairwell.
- What? - You and your hard-on about my patient!
So it's my fault?
You should've seen your face...
...when you heard that that shitbag that raped me had an Italian name.
You're the one who told them he was Puerto Rican.
What difference does it make?
Are you so ashamed of your background...
...that any misdeed by an Italian somehow damages your self-esteem?
This is so misdirected.
The whole fucking world's about your self-esteem.
Or maybe you don't have enough.
Jennifer, come on.
Fuck you, Richard.
Jen!
He busts balls.
He played like it was his idea for me to be Aprile crew captain.
What is he gonna do? Tony cut off his cazzi.
Very prudently. Not that you ain't gonna hear more later.
Most of the conversation was about Johnny moving.
Ginny told Gabriella she needs a big house.
Ginny Sacrimoni? What she needs is her own zip code.
Jersey's a small state. She moves in, she could tip it over.
I like something to grab onto.
You grab onto her, your hands will disappear.
- She's so fat, her blood type is Ragú. - When she goes camping...
...bears hide their food.
When Ginny hauls ass, she's gotta make two trips.
Two guys could fuck her at the same time and never meet.
Johnny!
- Fuck who? - What?
What's so funny?
Nothing. We're just talking about a girl.
Is that all you do, is talk about cooze?
When we're not planting potatoes. Welcome. You wanna drink?
I mean it. You don't keep up with events?
- What? - It's all over 1010 WINS.
It's right there in front of you. Turn it up.
After years of planning and delays, there's good news for Newark.
Coming from the Passaic River where Assemblyman Ronald Zellman...
...held a press conference to announce the release of $25 million...
...in state and federal funds.
25 million.
The time has come to return Newark and its waterfront to its past glory.
By the year 2003, this long-neglected stretch of riverfront...
...will be alive with condominiums, film studios and public parks.
A self-perpetuating revenue base.
The $100 million Newark Museum of Science and Trucking...
...will serve to make this the attraction of the area and beyond.
This fucking busted valise, he's worth every cent of his cut.
Fucking dry wall contracts alone.
_
Jen, can I come in?
I'm sorry.
I'm just so frustrated.
We both are.
I just want to go find that bastard and kill him with my hands.
And I could and I would. But I can't.
They'd put me in jail, that's how things are.
I know.
- You said Satriale's at 1. - So now you know how it feels.
I know why I'm here and I apologize.
I won't let it happen again.
Don't step in that, that's my mother's flowers.
Let's go.
I asked you to watch out for Jackie, Jr.
I said, "Don't let the kid get involved in this."
I hear about a joint, and Jackie's a part of it.
He only drove. I said I was sorry. Let me tell you, he was an asset.
He pissed on the car seats, but he handled himself very good.
You listening? Leave him out of it.
He begged me for a taste. He's the heir apparent.
I don't want him mixed up in this. I promised his old man.
- But it's all right for me? - I didn't say that.
What did you say? The life's good for me, but not for Lord Fuckpants?
Look, he's not suited to it. He's not like you. Like us.
Kids today, they're bored, they're spoiled.
- I promised his old man. - What? You promised him what?
I don't know.
I was his best friend.
Don't bust my balls.
I gotta go make a stop in Nutley.
Come here.
I love you.
You're a good boy.
Lord Fuckpants? Whose moniker is that?
I'm not sure it is a moniker.
Hi. Come on in.
Jesus. What's the other guy look like?
That must have been some accident. What happened?
Someone ran a stop sign on Eisenhower Parkway.
- It was one of those things. - I know a woman with one leg.
Terrible thing.
Last time we met we talked about getting you into behavioral therapy.
I brought a couple of things for you to look at.
"Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway." You gotta be fucking kidding me.
The title leaves something to be desired.
It's okay, it's just your...
It's okay. I'm sorry. Sorry.
You want me to?
- It startled me, that's all. - Maybe you came back too soon.
- It's better for me to be busy. - Right.
I'm okay. Really.
And I appreciate your concern.
That's what's wrong with the world.
An innocent person is minding their own business...
...and some fucking asshole comes out and smashes into them.
- You can't control everything. - You can get pissed off.
And then what? Lose control?
You direct your anger where it belongs.
You have panic attacks.
Panic occurs when feelings of anger, revenge, whatever, overwhelm you.
That's where behavioral therapy comes in.
It can teach you to control those triggers.
How do you get people to do what you want?
You tell your mother it's hers anytime she wants it.
- How was your cousin's shower? - It sounded like a bunch of screaming.
I wondered whose Z24 was in the driveway. You get a car?
Yeah.
Where did I put the sleeves to that samovar?
- You want anything? A Coke? - No, I'm set, Ton.
I heard Ralph Cifaretto got passed over.
You heard about what? Who?
I'm saying that was probably smart.
- He's kind of a cool guy... - That's none of your concern.
You were going to college. I hear shit from Chris?
- You didn't talk to Chris. Shit. - That's right.
I promised your dad.
Don't make this hard. I got a son to bust my balls.
I'm home!
Ma?
Hey, Jackie. What are you doing here?
I'm waiting for you.
What? No hello?
I need $200 to put in my student account.
We haven't talked for weeks.
I look forward to total independence, believe me.
African-Americans go to Columbia.
Some are my friends.
My ass. On my couch, watching TV with his shoes off with you?
Meadow, when did you get here?
See you. Say hi to your mom.
Come into the city, we'll do sushi.
I won't say anything.
You just remember what we talked about.
I'll have a chicken avocado wrap, no dressing. And a Coke.
One number three, dressing on the side.
Thanks.
_
Excuse me. Wait a minute.
Let go of me! Let the fuck go of me!
- We don't wanna continue. Give us leg. - What leg?
Don't do this to me. Don't push me to edge. Repent!
Motherfucker, do you know who my brother is?
- Mother, what did you say? - Mother...
Those records were all I had of my mother. What could they mean to her?
- Are you people really so callous...? - Fuck you. You are callous.
_
AH!
Oh, my God! Help me, please!
AH!
I felt such a sense of relief.
I felt safe for the first time since it happened.
Empowered.
The vending machine?
My guilt for putting myself in harm's way.
I read about that too, that honeymooner...
...who rocked a vending machine and it fell on him and killed him.
The dog though, I don't know.
The forbidden part of your psyche, murderous rage.
Yeah, but at first I thought he was after me.
The door said, "Danger."
Actually, no, it said, "High Voltage. Call NJGE Before Digging."
"Jersey Gas and Electric."
- Was Richard anywhere in all this? - No.
Oh, my God. The dog.
- What? - A rottweiler, Elliot.
Big head. Massive shoulders.
Descendent of the dog used by the Roman armies to guard their camps.
- I didn't know that. - Digging?
Who do I dig with? And who's dangerous?
Who could I sic on that son of a bitch to tear him to shreds?
OH.
Let me tell you something.
No feeling has ever been so sweet as to see that pig beg...
...and plead and scream for life.
Because the justice system is fucked up, Elliot.
Richard's got his attorney looking into this at $300 an hour.
Meanwhile, that employee of the month cocksucker...
...is back on the street, and who's gonna stop him? You?
Jennifer...
- Civilization... - Don't worry.
I'm not going to break the social compact.
But that's not saying there's not a certain satisfaction in knowing...
...that I could have that asshole squashed like a bug.
If I wanted.
What happened?
Janice?
I can't drive. And they broke three ribs.
What did I tell you? I told you not to mess with those people.
I was supposed to be married at this point.
- Yeah? So? - The man I loved died.
This is all I fucking need. Thanks, Janice.
- What? - What do you mean?
They slapped my sister around.
I have to get payback. It's always something.
Every time I hear your voice, I know it's gonna cost me.
Time. Money. You never do anything to simplify my life.
I stole a woman's prosthetic leg. When did I get like this?
- You really wanna know? - When Richie died.
Till that time, I was functioning at a very high level.
There's only one trajectory for me.
Really?
- God. - You see what I mean?
All this soul-searching, it's always on my dime.
I've hit bottom, Tony.
But it's odd because I feel born again in the Lord.
HMM.
And I prayed to God and I asked him...
...to forgive Svetlana for what she's done.
We've been here before. With Vishnu and Richard-fucking-Alpert...
...and the Coyote Spirit. You know what it always spells?
Trouble for the rest of us. So put your fucking clothes on.
Seriously. I gotta get out of here.
I give myself up utterly and totally to God.
If this is the bottom.
If not...
You can go now.
Billing needs to see you. Follow the blue line.
Carmela.
- Gorgeous as ever. - My God, this house.
You already got one.
Move to Jersey, but maybe take a little bit of a halfway step?
Fucking wife of mine.
"What we do in life echoes in eternity."
He's obsessed with Gladiator.
Come on, it's a great fucking film. "Strength and honor."
Scotch and soda. Long as you're on the way to the bar.
Ball breaker.
J & B, right, Ton?
T, what do you think a place like this...
- ...set John back? - Who gives a shit?
Landscape alone's gotta be 100, 150 G's.
- To keep up this lawn... - Property taxes. Gotta pay those.
Taxes.
Use the money to fix air traffic control?
We should fight terrorism.
How about that stampede in Zimbabwe? Soccer game.
No assigned seating. Always a problem.
You're not using the cane anymore.
Been making my list.
Even bought a little notebook.
Good. That's good.
I've been thinking about your behavior therapy idea. You got a point.
I could use some help with a few things. If they can help me there...
...I should go there.
No.
You sure about that? Because the last couple of times...
...I've been getting the feeling that you're giving me the boot.
OH!
What's the matter?
Hey, come on.
What did I do?
Come on, huh?
Hey, Hey, Hey.
Come on.
Now, what did I do? What's the matter?
Tell me. What's the matter?
Go sit over there.
We'll do this.
Go.
It's just my knee.
It's okay. Go on.
What?
I mean, you wanna say something?
No.